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Post by Bandgoat on Apr 1, 2012 15:17:50 GMT -6
This award goes to the forum member who said the nerdiest, craziest, or most off-the-wall, out-of-the-blue comment during a gaming session. Multiple awards are given in the case of dialogue. Honorable mentions are also included.
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Post by Bandgoat on Apr 1, 2012 17:18:17 GMT -6
Archdork of the Week: Session 1, January 6, 2012 For this week, the beginning of our "Shadows Under Sandpoint" campaign, the Archdork award goes to our beloved game master, Skeld, for his lesson on why goblins, and DMs, are crazy. He also composed the "Bomb" song and even created a new monster: Celestial Undead Dire Wereducks. Honorable Mentions: jeremy - For telling us that his wildest sexual fantasies involve computer storage devices as well as for exclaiming that his character has seven sacks. jimmyromines - For going on a four-minute argument why his character should not suffer any ill effects from an epic fumble (rolling two '1's back to back). Attachments:
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Post by Bandgoat on Apr 1, 2012 17:40:11 GMT -6
Archdork of the Week: Session 2, January 20, 2012 This week's Archdork award again goes to Skeld for explaining the political machinations behind oriental adventuring. He also parodied another goblin-oriented song. Honorable Mentions: Bandgoat - For his mathematics antics and judging a paladin by her charisma modifier. jeremy - For becoming addicted to the smell of dry-erase markers. justaworm - For telling us exactly how to pick up his character. Attachments:
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Post by Bandgoat on Apr 1, 2012 17:49:02 GMT -6
Archdork of the Week: Session 3, February 17, 2012 The competition this week was quite lop-sided. jeremy was declared the Archdork for his numerous utterances at the gaming table, including the following: His unsurpassed skill in identifying daises (and singing about them) His opera parodies His ability to "Civ Face" His sommelier expertise with Burmese wine His desire to summon Alfred Nobel across the multiverse However, his completely off topic interjection of "Navy SEALs" wins the award. Honorable Mention: Skeld - For his high-tech stick and goblin chants Attachments:
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Post by Bandgoat on Apr 1, 2012 17:58:12 GMT -6
Archdork of the Week: Session 4, March 16, 2012 This week, we award the Archdork and Archdorkess awards to jeremy and blackeyedsusan for their rendition of "My Chihuahua" (and the subsequent rhyming FAIL). Honorable Mentions: Skeld - For his thoughts on racial stereotypes, his coining the words "lairable" and "gobtropolis", and his Phun Physics Phormula Phor Phalling. Bandgoat - For his allergy remedy of a "precise shot" of antihistamines. Attachments:
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Post by Skeld on Apr 1, 2012 20:49:58 GMT -6
I sound every bit as retarded as I imagined.
My consolation prize is that Jeremy sounds even more retarded (most of the time).
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Post by jeremy on Apr 2, 2012 7:48:21 GMT -6
I sound every bit as retarded as I imagined. My consolation prize is that Jeremy sounds even more retarded (most of the time). And I'll wear that as a badge of honor.
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Post by Bandgoat on Apr 9, 2012 21:48:56 GMT -6
Archdork of the Week: Session 5, March 30, 2012 This week was a very close competition among everyone present. However, the Archdork of the Week award goes to justaworm for his terrific insights on spell casting tactics. His recipe for a "paladin potion" was a nice touch, too. Recipe: wait for an enemy to drink a potion, eviscerate the enemy, drink the potion out of the corpse. Lawful Good - apparently just a suggestion more than a rule. Honorable Mentions: midnitearrow for introducing us to "Gorn" or goblin pornography as well as his wonderful reference of the film Real Geniusjimmyromines for telling the DM exactly how to ambush his character and for his amazing stealth fail (Jimmy Sneezes) Finally, everyone had a part to play in trying to determine the challenge ratings of various rock bands Attachments:
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Post by Bandgoat on Feb 7, 2013 0:05:31 GMT -6
Archdork of the Week: Session 6, April 14, 2012 There were certainly some doozies this week, like the myriad renditions of 80's songs with gaming subjects, jimmyromines's obsession with booby traps, and Skeld's coining the term "Hitler-esque". However, the award goes to midnightarrow for his effective use of the term "Heisenberg Uncertainty." Honorable mention: midnightarrow and jeremy for their discussion of a retreat algorithm, complete with proper C++ formatting rules. Attachments:
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Post by Bandgoat on Feb 7, 2013 0:16:42 GMT -6
Archdork of the Week: Session 7, May 11, 2012 This week's Archdork is definitely Skeld. This award could have been given to him for handing the PCs the wrong note during the game (giving us foresight into our next encounter) or for explaining to us how he feels that women should cry silently in the corner. However, he is in fact receiving this award for his unusual definition of the word "orphan." Honorable Mention: midnightarrow and jeremy for their discussion of the Pathfinder concept of an afterlife, complete with a bard in the corner playing elevator music. Attachments:
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Post by Bandgoat on Feb 7, 2013 0:24:50 GMT -6
Archdork of the Week: Session 8, June 29, 2012 Apparently, when not gaming for several weeks, most of us lose some of our dorkiness. So, the selection this week is not as good as usual. However, like the last few sessions, this week's Archdork is none other than Skeld confirming what we have always believed. Honorable Mentions: blackeyedsusan for some Star Trek humor Bandgoat for enchanting everyone with his musical genius Attachments:
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Post by Bandgoat on Feb 7, 2013 0:31:51 GMT -6
Archdork of the Week: Session 9, July 20, 2012 Without question, this award goes to blackeyedsusan, who was in rare form this week with her musical musings. She was also the only nominee this week. The boys have to do better next time. Honorable Mentions: blackeyedsusan for confusing "Copper Key" with the sun tan lotion brand blackeyedsusan for confusing the fictional nation of "Varisia" with the not-so-fictional city of "Venice." Attachments:
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Post by Bandgoat on Feb 7, 2013 0:48:04 GMT -6
Archdork of the Week: Session 10, August 3, 2012 Making his Archdork debut, this week's prize is awarded to Bandgoat* for his quick-witted pun on the word "Lich". Honorable Mentions: Skeld for his, not-as-quick-witted pun with "Vrock On!" Bandgoat for his definition of "full attack" being the same as "two consecutive misses in the same round". * - The judge of this "contest" is, in all cases, an impartial observer (located on an inertial reference frame). Attachments:
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Post by Bandgoat on Feb 7, 2013 0:55:47 GMT -6
Archdork of the Week: Session 11, August 17, 2012 This week's Archdork is awarded to midnightarrow for his stern warning to all. Honorable Mention: midnightarrow for explaining that it is possible to shorten Tolgun's haft beyond normal by "fetching the ice bucket." Attachments:
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Post by Bandgoat on Feb 7, 2013 1:04:00 GMT -6
Archdork of the Week: Session 12, September 14, 2012 This week's award goes to jeremy, Bandgoat, and Skeld for their musings on Australia. Honorable Mentions: Skeld for his refreshing (and irksome) honesty in admitting that, as a DM, he doesn't actually prepare anything jimmyromines for allowing his character to use a bomb targeting an enemy in melee combat, but excluding from the damage the nearby squares occupied by "friendlies"... and Illya. Attachments:
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Post by Bandgoat on Feb 7, 2013 1:11:35 GMT -6
Archdork of the Week: Session 13, November 9, 2012 This week's Archdork is jimmyromines for his mathematics humor. Honorable Mentions: Skeld for offering hidden messages into the microphone of our recording device midnightarrow for the prior campaign pining of his "frisky chest mount," which according to Skeld and jeremy sounds a little dirty. Attachments:
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Post by Bandgoat on Feb 7, 2013 1:15:16 GMT -6
Archdork of the Week: Session 14, November 30, 2012 This week, the only decent example of Archdorkness goes to the eldest progeny of justaworm. Congratulations, lad, for making the message board. Attachments:
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Post by Bandgoat on Feb 7, 2013 1:22:29 GMT -6
Archdork of the Week: Session 15, December 14, 2012 This week, we had another appearance from justaworm's eldest son in the running, but the award goes to midnightarrow for his uncanny knowledge for place names. Honorable Mention: justaworm for thinking that a prone paladin should get a bonus on Acrobatics checks, simultaneously creating a new sport: Paladins on Ice. Attachments:
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Post by Bandgoat on Feb 7, 2013 1:32:42 GMT -6
Archdork of the Week: Session 16, January 18, 2013 This week, the award goes to Bandgoat for his tirade about how the party just assumes all intelligent, attractive, red-headed, female NPCs must be evil. Nevermind the fact that the NPC in question was, in actuality, an evil arch-villain of the campaign. It's the principle of the thing. Honorable Mentions: jeremy, jimmyromines, midnightarrow, and Skeld for their powerful insights on restroom etiquette - or their lack thereof. jeremy and midnightarrow for their wonderful puns describing the poor NPC we found stuffed inside a large bell tower - "Dead Ringer" and "I don't know him, but his face rings a bell" jeremy for showing his age by making a "Good Times" reference Attachments:
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Post by Bandgoat on Feb 25, 2013 21:17:12 GMT -6
Archdork of the Week: Session 17, February 22, 2013 This week, despite the meager number of nominees, the Archdork award goes to jimmyromines for coining the term "Floozy Paladin" to describe Ryll. Honorable Mention: Skeld for describing leather-and-fur-clad giants as "biker ogres." Attachments:
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Post by Bandgoat on Mar 16, 2013 17:54:16 GMT -6
Archdork of the Week: Session 18, March 8, 2013 Several good clips were in the running for this week's award. The winner, though, goes to the group effort by Skeld, Jeremy, Bandgoat, jimmyromines, and midnightarrow for explaining all the things NOT to teach children. Honorable mentions: Jeremy - for fighting the "wight power" Skeld - for explaining that he nothing worthy of licking on his pants Bandgoat - for being ostracized for a simple rules questions jimmyromines - for correcting the GM, who assumed he had missed several attacks Attachments:
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Post by Bandgoat on May 25, 2014 19:36:57 GMT -6
Archdork of the Week: Session 19, April 26, 2013 Skeld of course wins again for teaching everyone about the importance of responsibility. Honorable mentions: midnightarrow for not wanting to teleport into a "hot LZ" with an alchemist wearing a necklace of fireballs Skeld for having "done the maths" Attachments: Responsibility.mp3 (360.4 KB)
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Post by Bandgoat on May 25, 2014 19:52:13 GMT -6
Archdork of the Week: Session 20, May 24, 2013 Amazingly, Skeld comes out with an impressive display for the Archdork honors this week. By rights he should win for his demonstration of what it means to give too much information, but I'm sure to post the recording would violate about a dozen state, national, and international laws. Therefore, he officially wins for his example of a "disaster waiting to happen." Honorable mentions: midnightarrow for explaining that it was no wonder a civilization, which did not recognize divination as a school of magic, didn't see their doom coming Skeld for TMI Attachments: Disaster Waiting to Happen.mp3 (375.91 KB)
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Post by Bandgoat on May 25, 2014 20:02:56 GMT -6
Archdork of the Week: Session 21, June 21, 2013 midnightarrow wins this week for receiving a text message from someone he didn't know saying "cast magic missile." He responded in kind. Honorable mentions: Bandgoat, Jeremy, and jimmyromines for their new definition of "orc." Skeld for his opinions of Ryan Reynolds and Shia LaBeouf, leading to the naming of his Butthole Surfers cover band, Rampaging Douche Attachments: Dinner Party.mp3 (751.01 KB)
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Post by Bandgoat on May 25, 2014 20:06:39 GMT -6
Archdork of the Week: Session 22, July 12, 2013 Our only good example of Archdorkitude comes from our conversation of Dwarven society, featuring Skeld, Jeremy, and Bandgoat. Attachments: Inbred Hicks.mp3 (579.18 KB)
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Post by Bandgoat on May 25, 2014 20:22:13 GMT -6
Archdork of the Week: Session 23, July 26, 2013 We had quite the selection this week, probably to make up for the lack of good ones last session. The winners are midnightarrow, Bandgoat, and Jeremy for their narcotics mixology. Honorable mentions: Bandgoat for his obscure "Big'Uns" reference Skeld for explaining the fine line between "dangerously curious" and "about to lose your character" that jimmyromines's character confidently sashayed across Bandgoat and Jeremy for their Enya tangent Bandgoat for explaining that his favorite leg was the middle one Attachments:Let's Do Acid.mp3 (782.44 KB)
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Post by Bandgoat on May 25, 2014 20:28:19 GMT -6
Archdork of the Week: Session 24, August 16, 2013 Skeld and Jeremy win this week for their comparison of character sheets to the internet. Honorable mentions: midnightarrow for creating Paladin Pokey. Attachments:No Lies.mp3 (282.44 KB)
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Post by Bandgoat on May 25, 2014 20:33:11 GMT -6
Archdork of the Week: Session 25, August 30, 2013 This week's Archdork of the Week has to go to Bandgoat for his total dice-rolling geek out. Honorable mentions: Jeremy for explaining that his character is confused by gender Skeld and justaworm for Night at the Vrocksbury Attachments:Ooh Geek Out.mp3 (938.36 KB)
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Post by Bandgoat on May 25, 2014 20:38:11 GMT -6
Archdork of the Week: Session 26, September 20, 2013 The winners this week are justaworm and midnightarrow for discussing how best to dispose of a giant corpse. That's the corpse of a giant, not just a big corpse. Well, obviously it must be a large corpse because it came from a giant, but I was just trying to be specific. Honorable mentions: Skeld for coining the phrase "free range golem." Attachments:Aaaarghh!.mp3 (641.63 KB)
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Post by Bandgoat on May 25, 2014 21:00:13 GMT -6
Archdork of the Week: Session 27, October 4, 2013 Skeld, Jeremy, justaworm, and midnightarrow take the award for trying to figure out what to call a group of harpies. The answer of course is a Clamor of Harpies, though I think I prefer the alliterative Horrible Harem of Harpies. Honorable mentions: justaworm for being careful about how he typed "black tentacles" Skeld and Jeremy for showing they didn't really learn anything in their college physics classes when they tried to calculate how far someone would fall during one round. Their approximation: 200 feet. The actual number, using a straight-forward kinematics equation assuming no air resistance is about 580 feet. This can be further refined by writing a simple program to take into consideration not only normal air resistance based on altitude and approximate terminal velocity of a flailing dwarf, but also gravitational changes with altitude and magical effects such as Feather Fall and Reverse Gravity. The answer then, of course, assuming a six-second free-fall period where the falling character is trying to slow his decent at a relatively low altitude near sea level, is 492 feet. Attachments:Group of Harpies.mp3 (594.69 KB)
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